Bush's secret conversation

President Bush’s Secret Conversation

A Company Conversation:
-

(Music. Beep.)

Secretary: - Mr. President, Condoleeza Rice is
here to see you.
George B. : - Good, send her in.
Secretary: - Yes
sir.

(Hangs up. Condi enters.)

Condoleeza: - Good morning, Mr.
President.
George B. : - Oh Condoleeza, nice to see you. What’s
happening?
Condoleeza : - Well, Mr. President, I have the report here about
the new leader in China.
George B. : - Great, Condi. Lay it on
me.
Condoleeza : - Mr. President, Hu is the new leader of China.
George B.
: - Well, that’s what I want to know.
Condoleeza : - But that’s what I’m
telling you, Mr. President.
George B. : - Well, that’s what I’m asking you,
Condie. Who is the new leader of China?
Condoleeza : - Yes.
George B. : -
I mean the fellow’s name.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The guy in
China.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The new leader of
China.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The Chinaman!
Condoleeza : - Hu
is leading China, Mr. President.
George B. : - Whaddya’ asking me
for?
Condoleeza : - I’m telling you Hu is leading China.
George B. : -
Well, I’m asking you, Condie. Who is leading China?
Condoleeza : - That’s the
man’s name.
George B. : - That’s who’s name?
Condoleeza : -
Yes.

(Pause.)

George B. : - Will you or will you not tell me the
name of the new leader of China?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : -
Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.
Condoleeza : - That’s correct.
George B. : - Then who is in
China?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir is in
China?
Condoleeza : - No, sir.
George B. : - Then who is?
Condoleeza :
- Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir?
Condoleeza : - No, sir.

(Pause.
Crumples paper)

George B. : - Condi, you’re starting to piss me off now,
and it’s not ’cause you’re black neither. I need to know the name of the new
leader of China. So why don’t you get me the Secretary General of the United
Nations on the phone.
Condoleeza : - Kofi Annan?
George B. : - No, thanks.
And Condi, call me George. Stop with that ebonics crap.
Condoleeza : - You
want Kofi?
George B. : - No.
Condoleeza : - You don’t want Kofi.
George
B. : - No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then
get me the U.N.
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Not Yassir! The guy
at the United Nations.
Condoleeza : - Kofi?
George B. : - Milk! Will you
please make that call?
Condoleeza : - And call who?
George B. : - Well,
who is the guy at the U.N?
Condoleeza : - No, Hu is the guy in
China.
George B. : - Will you stay out of China?!
Condoleeza : - Yes,
sir.
George B. : - And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at
the U.N.
Condoleeza : - Kofi.
George B. : - All right! With cream and two
sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the
phone.)

Condoleeza : - Hello. Rice, here.
George B. : - Rice? Good
idea. And get a couple of egg rolls, too, Condi. Maybe we should send some to
the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get chinese food in the Middle
East? I don’t know.

(Door slam. Music.)